A Valentine's Message

You are the 'you tiao' (Mandarin: Chinese Crullers)...


... to my 'kopi O' (Hokkien: black coffee)

-The Perfect Match-

Dear, come this Wednesday... We will still be miles apart. But that's okay. Because I know I am always in your heart and mind. You're in mine too! Everyday spent together is like V-day uh? *hugs* [Plus, you ARE coming back soon right?]

We have been through a lot through the past 6 months. The good and the bad. We had them all, plus the in-betweens. I guess we did manage to learn more about each other. And I am glad we are growing together, in more ways than imaginable. I can never tell you enough... *winks*

Thank you for sticking through all that rough stuff with me.

Thank you for accepting my good points and especially more so, my lesser qualities.

Thank you, for forgiving my mistakes.

Thank you for all the little things you have done for me (and I didn't show my appreciation).

Thank you for loving me.


For the first time, in a very long time, (I know) I am truly happy =)

Valentine's Day is in a week

But I will just sit here, alone, and wait.

Acceptance does not stop me from crying.

Playing with my W900i Phone Camera...

A simple candid shot of random people drinking coffee... (Panorama Function)

DISPLAY OF FRAMES AVAILABLE... =P

Err... the Housemate (Yilin) out on the HEADLINES!!! JB FLOODED... haha


Pei Shern, the Glamour Queen...


HAHAHA, underaged girl (aka Michelle Lim Gaik Ai) going to DISCO!!!


Err... Adrian showing off his musical talents?


Ben Ben, za hobbit_skywalker hopping!



And... moi, THE MAGICIAN OF ALL TRADES....

*oinks*

2006

I miss you, Caleb & Chris, Lam Chuan and Mena.

But most of all, Dad and Momo; I think of you two ever so often.

Remember to check down on me sometime from heaven okay?

Ah, what a year it has been!

Life was particularly eventful this time around. The good, the bad, and the in-betweens have seriously outdone themselves.

But I am thankful. I really am. *winks*

I am grateful for:

• All the smiles.
• My health (though the mind was never really centre!)
• The old buddies, who stayed with me through it all.
• The new friends, for keeping me away from rancour
• My mum being well and happy (generally)
• Having that strong familial bond sturdy as ever.
• Learning how to be strong. For myself and others.
• Learning how to cook (well)!!!
• Learning that independence does not equal solitude.
• Learning self-control.
• Earning my first kinda-short-yet-long-term wage with SOCSO and EPF benefits.
• Making it to university.
• Growing up.
• Finding acceptance.
• Finding forgiveness.
• Finding closure.
• Finding more bits about myself.
• Finding love.

Peace, My Brother.

Peace, My Sister.

Peace, My Soul.

I think I am starting to get used to life like this– bittersweet.

I don't need this right now

I don't need to doubt myself.

I don't need to feel guilty, for the unforgivable sin.

I don't need to lose control.

I don't need to feel like a jerk.

I don't need to worry about losing the one I love.


But most of all,

I don't want you to tell me everything is alright when it's not.

I don't want you to tolerate me, just because you love me.

I don't want you to sacrifice your emotions and hurt yourself for me.

I don't want you to worry about me.

I don't want you to be unhappy.

I don't want to see you cry.


Why do I always screw things up?


Sigh. But for now, I just need to concentrate and study.

The Apple of My Eye

Introducing my nephew, the latest addition to the family... LoL baby Wilson Chan Hong Wen, he is. A month old, he is. Super cute, he surely is.

Practising dance steps so early in life?

Stoning...

Doesn't he look sooo cute yawning?

*reminds me of another cutie. wink wink*

Aww... *little sweetheart*

Trying to be the next ladykiller uh?

Well, he's got the genes. Haha

heaven forbid

It is only real if it hurts?

The Longest Day Of My Life

Never did I imagine I was going to wake up to this eventful day, the moment I opened my eyes on Tuesday morning. Reluctantly, I dragged myself to lecture and PBL. I even followed friends to shop for props around the valley while cutting stuffs (in the car, while walking, waiting) ... I was elated they turned out better. I was still unaffected though my aching knee is not really recovering and I have to wear a supporting kneeguard band. It's okay. I will get better soon. I told myself.

As I returned home, things changed.

But I chose to divert my attention to work. Helping a friend settle some performance details.


I went back home again, like really late in the night. But I had to get out. I could not sleep.

And so I wandered, armed with my Walkman phone... I just travelled from point to point on foot.


Until I stopped.



I sat and just looked around.

The neon lights of the valley and the streetlamps illuminating the dark night skyline.


A moment of pure silence.



I was not alone. The cold breeze of the nights kept billowing keeping me company.

Some peace and quiet. Some break from reality. Some time to reflect on self.


But before I knew it, the sun rising; flickers from behind the hills. (How I miss such sights!)


Without a wink of shut eye for the past 24 hrs, I steadfastly walk towards uni for classes.



The longest day... there's more to come.

Enough

I have had enough of this.



The confusion.

The self-doubt.

The fear.

The guilt ride.

The need to always catch up.


The loathing of me.




What a rollercoaster this past few moons have been!


Now, just let me be with myself.

Thank you very much.

Invictus

My favourite poem of all time. My soulfood of choice for a weary mind. It is written by William Ernest Henley. HE ROCKS!


Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate;

I am the captain of my soul.